All of us are guilty of engaging in ‘comparison’ lingo when it comes to describing a (any) person. Either the person in context is shorter, taller, prettier, darker, fairer, smarter, loser, richer, nastier or whatever the grammar fairies have to offer. Often, it does veer towards the superlative lane; perhaps, when we have better knowledge of that person.

Don’t we all remember the fairy tale narratives of Snow White? The recurring question: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” Snow White’s evil stepmother needed constant reassurance that her fairness was incomparable to anyone in the land. 

It is perhaps human, this need to be validated through comparison. The irrepressible voice prompting us to do a quick check to see if the random somebody in the mall, public transport, or just about anywhere, is taller/shorter, fatter/thinner, richer/poorer, grander/lesser, presentable/shabby, prettier/so-so…than us. 

The list, as they say, is endless.

But isn’t ‘comparison’ the crux of every competition? Aren’t we all, in some way, ‘keeping up with the Joneses’? 

It is easy to genuinely feel sad and empathize with a colleague, a neighbor or a relative who is facing financial hardships and personal losses; even to offer a helping hand to tide over the issue/crisis. But nah, there is something that holds us right there when those in our circle are going one rung higher in the ladder of whatever it is that we wanted.

In effect, we are not just ‘keeping up’; we are constantly trying to be one up. Our happiness quotient is, in a warped sense, directly proportional to the highs we achieve when crossing boxes on the ‘comparison’ checklist. As if we are appeasing the jealousy streak that strikes subtly, quietly, at times without even emotionally connecting with us.

It is almost as if the metaphorical ‘eye for an eye’ got chastised and made up for the pent up ire with an unspoken thread of jealousy; camouflaged with words of excitement, hiding the buildup of anxiety – ‘How can my salary match his/hers? When will I ever go on a foreign trip?’

This fear of missing out, rather fear of not measuring up or being comparable, is easy to be blamed on social media, with posts of travels, purchases, parties…screaming out our ‘incomparable’ status. But then, if the age-old phrase ‘keeping up with Joneses’ was relevant in the early 1900s, can the social media alone take the rap for this contemporary need to be on par, if not better than those around us? 

A neighbor or a colleague is that much more attractive or otherwise until their status is a notch below ours or even on par.  

Be it at school level or on an international scale, the key to winning is going one above. Parents would want to know if their ward scored more in exams than the neighbour/family friend/colleague’s child. The sense of pride is doubled if the marks are good and trebled when it is above those in the immediate social circles…

Will this trend of constant comparisons ever go out of fashion?