Respect has always been considered fundamental to the relationship between a teacher and a student. Yet there is an important distinction between expecting respect because one is a teacher and earning it through one’s conduct.

Having spent more than 35 years working as a teacher in schools across India and the Gulf, I have observed how frequently educators expect students to respect them simply because of their position. But genuine respect cannot be demanded. It develops through trust, consistency, fairness and the way we treat those we teach. Exchange and compromise.docx

Teachers certainly have a responsibility to maintain discipline. A classroom needs boundaries, order and clear expectations. But there is a difference between being authoritative and being authoritarian.

When discipline leaves no room for students to express themselves, ask questions or make choices, it can create distance rather than respect. Students need guidance, but they also need appropriate freedom to make decisions, learn from mistakes and develop independence. These experiences help them build confidence, judgement and interpersonal skills. Exchange and compromise.docx

Teachers must lead by example
Students learn not only from what teachers tell them, but also from what they see.

A teacher who expects punctuality, honesty, discipline and responsibility must demonstrate those qualities personally. We cannot reasonably ask students to follow rules that we ourselves disregard. Actions often leave a deeper impression than instructions.

Trust is equally important. Teachers should keep their promises and remain consistent in their dealings with students. When young people know that their teacher means what he or she says, respect develops naturally. Exchange and compromise.docx

A good educator should also be someone students feel comfortable approaching when they face difficulties. Helping a student solve a problem does not mean solving every problem for them. Our responsibility is also to encourage them to think independently, confront challenges and find solutions for themselves. Exchange and compromise.docx

Listen to what interests them
Every student has interests, abilities and ambitions of their own. Teachers should recognise these rather than unnecessarily restrict them.

When a young person demonstrates enthusiasm for a particular subject or activity, that curiosity should be encouraged. Constantly acting against a student’s interests can lead to frustration and demotivation. Supporting genuine interests, while providing appropriate guidance, can instead strengthen confidence and deepen the teacher-student relationship. Exchange and compromise.docx

Communication is central to that relationship.

As students grow older, they may encounter difficult or sensitive issues. A teacher who communicates openly, appropriately and honestly can create an environment in which students feel safe asking questions and discussing concerns.

When students know they can approach a teacher without immediately being judged or dismissed, trust grows. And where there is trust, respect usually follows. Exchange and compromise.docx

Respect must work both ways
Perhaps the most important lesson is also the simplest: if teachers want respect from students, they must be willing to give respect first.

Give students time. Listen when they speak. Take their ideas and emotions seriously. Correct them when necessary, but do so without diminishing their dignity.

Students deserve respect just as educators do. The relationship between teacher and student should therefore not be built entirely around authority. At its best, it is an exchange based on mutual respect, responsibility and understanding. Exchange and compromise.docx

A teacher’s influence can remain with a student long after the classroom lessons themselves have been forgotten. That is why our behaviour matters.

I would conclude with a simple thought:

“The truest form of love is how you behave towards someone, not how you feel about them.”

About the author: Ishwar S. Deshmukh works at Indian School Salalah, Oman