When someone chides you with a ‘boys don’t cry’ ruse, they are wilfully adding to the concept of toxic masculinity, sending a warning that any expression of vulnerability is a sign of weakness. This, even when research has shown that suppressing emotions can take a significant toll on mental health. In fact, a 2023 study by the American Psychological Association, found that men are less likely to seek help for mental health issues, with societal pressures on masculinity often preventing them from expressing vulnerability or seeking the support they need.

Then, can a dedicated day like the ‘International Men’s Day’ serve as a powerful reminder of the many pressures men face, not only to succeed in the traditional sense but also to maintain a stoic, emotionally reserved persona? 

Today, with discussions around mental health becoming more open, the theme ‘Positive Male Role Models’ encourages one to rethink what it means to be a ‘real’ man and to break free from age-old myths that have hindered emotional growth for generations. It underscores the importance of nurturing open conversations about men’s mental health and creating supportive environments.

For, positive male role models are men who demonstrate vulnerability, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence, which are crucial in breaking down harmful stereotypes. When prominent figures in the community, from fathers to public figures, openly discuss their struggles with mental health, they create a culture where expressing feelings becomes a sign of strength – not weakness.

Speak Out

In recent years, more and more men have begun to speak out about their mental health struggles. From athletes to actors, public figures are leading the charge in dismantling the harmful expectations of traditional masculinity.

Take, for example, Michael Phelps, one of the most decorated Olympians of all time, who has spoken openly about the toll that pressure and depression can take on athletes’ lives. Phelps has used his platform to encourage others to break the silence and ask for help when needed, reinforcing the message that it’s okay to not be okay.

Last year, actor Tom Holland opened up about how his series ‘The Crowded Room’ took a massive toll on his mental health. He talked about having a bit of a meltdown and thinking of shaving his head. Of course, he wasn’t able to do it, but ended up taking a year-long break from acting after wrapping the series to overcome the hassle.

By speaking out, these figures are normalizing the idea that it is not only okay for men to cry, but it’s essential for their mental health and well-being. The more men see others who are willing to be vulnerable, the more they will feel empowered to do the same.

Support Systems 

Men also need safe spaces to discuss their vulnerabilities without the fear of judgment. No one wants to hear harsh comments like ‘grow up’ or ‘don’t be a baby’ when displaying signs of emotional distress. While individual efforts are important, there is also a pressing need for stronger support system. Creating safe spaces for men to discuss their emotions without judgment is crucial. These spaces can take many forms—from therapy and support groups to informal settings where men can connect with friends and family.

Men’s mental health initiatives, such as ‘Movember’, which encourages men to grow facial hair in November to raise awareness for mental health issues, are helping to open the conversation. On a global level, many companies have, in effect, incorporated workplace wellness programs to initiate discussions about mental health, providing male employees with resources to seek help without fear of stigma.

Real Men Do Cry 

With November championing the cause of men’s mental health, let’s hold on to the ‘men’s day’ bandwagon by acknowledging the challenges men face in the mental health quarter, while correcting, rather redefining the concept of what it means to be a ‘real man’.  

Yes, real men do cry; and by doing so, they demonstrate the courage to be vulnerable, the strength to seek help, and the wisdom to embrace their full humanity. Only through these changes can we begin to ensure that future generations of men are not burdened by unrealistic expectations but instead are empowered to lead emotionally balanced, fulfilling lives. 

It’s time to bury the phrase ‘boys don’t cry’.