Have you ever seen a man weeping in deep pain, especially in public? Rarely, isn’t it? Yet, I have encountered many men who, in the depths of private pain, struggle to cope with depression – sometimes even without fully realizing it themselves.

I am a woman – a mother, sister, and aviation professional – who has many male friends, both within my professional circle and beyond. Through these connections, I have come to see how stress affects men differently, even if the degree of their struggles varies. This is not to say I do not have female friends; it’s simply that the emotional landscape men inhabit, especially in times of hardship, often requires unique understanding. From my experiences, I believe that men and women experience and manage depression in very different ways, and men, in particular, could benefit from a more compassionate approach that takes their distinct pressures into account.

A man who allows himself to cry in front of you is showing deep trust, creating a bond that transcends definition. Society often laughs at a man who sheds tears, casting him as weak, even within his family. Most men do not openly express sadness or vulnerability due to societal pressures that discourage such openness. Instead, their depression may appear as anger, irritability, or isolation. Recognizing these signs and providing support can prevent misinterpretation and judgment, especially within a society that too often expects men to shoulder burdens in silence.

Many times, a man is weighed down by family responsibilities, life’s demands, and financial pressures that he cannot always share. Even if he is stretched thin, he often hesitates to say no to the household’s needs, offering instead quiet hope. Yet, because he doesn’t voice his own struggles, others may overlook the immense pressure he carries, including those closest to him. Often, people, especially women around him, might ask why he seems distant, saying things like, “What’s going on with you? You seem so lost. You should know, we women are the ones who take on the real challenges.”

But is that true? Are women alone in facing all of life’s struggles? Yes, women certainly bear their share of burdens, but men, too, face significant pressures. Unlike women, however, men are frequently conditioned from a young age to “tough it out” and avoid showing emotion. This societal conditioning creates deep-rooted discomfort with asking for help, making it essential for friends and family to support men with patience and understanding.

During such times, many men find solace in the presence of a trusted friend, often a woman, who can listen with patience and empathy. This “other woman” is not always a romantic partner; she might be a confidante who offers quiet reassurance and a safe space for him to let down his guard. Men may not openly seek help but might express their need for support indirectly. Though women, too, rely on support, the intensity of this need can be even stronger in men because society expects them to provide stability and rarely gives them space to seek help.

Neerja Birla, founder of the Aditya Birla Education Trust, has emphasized the importance of acknowledging men’s emotional struggles, stating, “Mental health concerns do not make men weak. It just means that they are dealing with trauma and require empathy, kindness, and the support of their loved ones.”

From my experience, men often lack the strong support networks that women turn to when facing emotional burdens. When male friends or colleagues come to me, seeking support, directly or indirectly, I make an extra effort to listen and provide encouragement. Often, men’s emotional struggles are dismissed as “anger issues” or “mood swings”, but these can just as easily be symptoms of depression or anxiety. Family members and friends should recognize that men’s emotions are equally complex and deserving of empathy.

We often view men as stoic figures, which is a narrow and dehumanizing expectation. Assuming that men should be able to endure hardship without complaint often denies them the full range of human experience. Acknowledging that men, too, experience complex emotions can create a more supportive environment in which they feel safe to express vulnerability.

In any relationship, it is essential for both partners to respect and respond to each other’s emotional needs, a practice that can often be lacking in today’s families. This is not just about marriage; it applies to all relationships, where mutual support fosters balance and empathy. When men do open up, they may fear being seen as “weak”. A compassionate approach, free from judgment or criticism, can make a tremendous difference in helping them feel secure in seeking help.

Men’s mental health requires a compassionate response that transcends stereotypes and encourages open conversations. If a man cries before you, try to understand the weight of his pain and acknowledge the struggles he faces. Recognizing and addressing these challenges with empathy can help men feel valued and supported as individuals, contributing to a healthier society for everyone. When you truly see into a man’s heart, listen to the unspoken words and silent sighs. By breaking through gender stereotypes, you can become a true source of solace, regardless of the relationship you share.

About the Author : Reena Rahman is a writer and aviation expert.