Valentine’s Day may be just another day in the calendar of most people around the world, but the ‘Day’, in all its celebratory glory, gave TAS Weekly an excuseto explore this universal language that binds everyone to the roots of humanity; it set the platform to glean perspectives on the emotion from everyday people – people who have found different career/life callings, but have honed their understanding of love to present it in flavours tinged with personal experiences.

Understandably, at a time when ‘I love…’ has become a qualifier, rather an adjunct to describe ones penchant for everyday things like food, clothes, places, jewelry, mobiles and even mundane items, one can sense an element of commonality attached to the phrase. It’s normal to temper conversations with the ‘love’ phrase; it is like a punctuation that crops up in between words, even ellipsis.

Even social media – despite all the negative flak it keeps getting – has made love language all the more lucid and common, with ‘I love you’ thrown in as a sign-off or a parting phrase after a casual meeting with family/friends. The word has lost earlier reservations and inhibitions to truly become universal, not just in its interpretations, but also in its usage.

Perhaps, that makes it all the more easier to define the emotion called love and own it with pride.

So, what exactly is this emotion/feeling called love? 

From scholars and poets to writers and philosophers, love has been interpreted variously throughout history; it has found nuance in cultural norms, traditions, and rituals in different parts of the world. But when it comes to classic definition, it is easy to rely on words penned by romance novelists – those butterflies in the stomach, stolen glances, the unspoken words, the pining and the all-consuming desire.

And then there is the circle of love that binds families and generations together, the fierce loyalty of friendship, the shared attachment between a pet and its owner, the growing fondness between neighbours and the community, the self-love that motivational gurus advocate…

Recognizing these dimensions enhances the understanding of love, underscoring the fact that it is not limited to one template or definition.

As one respondent in this random survey stated, love requires no definition. It is a feeling that cannot – should not – be confined with words.

But when the words come from the heart, when it finds correlation between ones everyday affairs and quiet contemplation, there is almost a divine twist to the definition. It comes out as a reassurance that love, whatever form or avatar it takes, will continue to hold this world in its grip. It may take new turns and roads, but the essence of the emotion will manifest through care and affection.

The following quotes and quips from people in and around the city succinctly demonstrate the varied connotations surrounding the topic of love.

Actions and choices

Classifying love as a verb and not just a feeling, a local teacher of English language, who sought anonymity, said: “Love isn’t just a passive emotion; it’s an active choice. It’s the commitment to nurture, the effort to understand, the willingness to forgive. Love is in the small gestures – making someone coffee, listening patiently, offering a shoulder to cry on…”

Red roses and blooming gardens

Shastry, a retired landscape artist, describes love as follows: “Love isn’t always a bouquet of red roses. It is the strength to navigate through disagreements and misunderstandings by keeping the communication line always open. One must not forget that even the most magnificent gardens require constant tending.”

Coffee and dates

Equating love to the sweet aroma of cardamom in the coffee, Fatima, a housewife, explains: “Love is like the sweet cardamom I infuse in the coffee – small but essential. It’s the warmth between neighbours checking in, the laughter with friends sharing dates and kahwa, the quiet knowing between husband and wife after years together.”

Books and classmates

For Maha, a class ten student, love is all about spending time with friends. “I know there are several types of love. What I feel for my mama and papa and my siblings is not the same as the love I have for my friends in my class. While the former is eternal, the latter may not last after we move out of the school here. But for now, love is the loud ‘hi’ and the high-fives with which we greet each other in the mornings. It is the group study, the notes-sharing, the last-minute revisions… It is everything about school life…” she says.

Another student, Kumar, says: “Love is the messy scribbles in my notebook, filled with my dreams and the niggling doubts. It’s the support of my family, the laughter I share with my close friends, and the journey I have to undertake to become the person I want to be.”

Pluses and minuses

Quantifying the essence of love and the algorithm it follows, Thomas, an accountant, says, “I think love is a puzzle – an imperfect one at that. Here, every piece, no matter how different or challenging, fits in perfectly. It is like a mathematical constant… There may be additions and omissions in the attachments we have for others in our circle, even for the career that we take so seriously, but the emotion called love will weather these ebbs and flows to remind us of its constancy in this world.”

Flavours and aromas

Cooking, they say, is an act of love, and for Ahmed, a restaurant chef, that is a perfect definition of love. He says: “Love is the aroma of spices filling the air; it is the blend of flavours hitting the taste buds; it is the simple joy you derive from sharing a meal with loved ones. The way I present the dishes is an expression of love… Also, let me tell you that love cannot exist without some effort. True love requires a willingness to put the needs of the other person before your own.”

Humour and support

According to Aisha, a recently retired IT professional, love is the ability to find humour in even the darkest moments. “When your sense of humour is intact, you know love will never abandon you. It comes through in little ways. Like understanding each other’s jokes, laughing together, finishing sentences… It reflects a deep connection that is rooted in love,” she muses.

There is no end to these definitions of love – it could be a a smile, a song, a movie, a coffee, a walk… It could be the call in the middle of the night to that one friend who will understand right away that all you needed was someone to hear you out; it could be the warmth of your home after a long day at work; the sense of security that parental homes exude; the meals shared with neighbours; the weekend dinners with friends; it could be cooking up a favourite dish together or watching a new show…

Love is every little thing that makes our world go round – without the reality of global unrest, political chaos and religious differences affecting it.

If you are inclined to share your thoughts on the topic of love, go ahead; we are waiting to hear.